Courage

Courage : mental or moral strength to venture, persevere, and withstand danger, fear, or difficulty


I have never thought of myself as courageous. I always think of courage and relate that to those who serve our country, police our streets, or brave flames to help those in need. Last night I had to, along with my sister and brother, find the courage to do what was right. As many of you may know, last night we lost our mother to some sort of complication that came after having 2 separate, unrelated surgeries in the matter of only four days. What some of you don't know is that my siblings and I had to decide what we thought that she would want us to do. And that decision was by far the single most difficult decision we will EVER make in our lives. We had the love and support of family and friends, but ultimately it was still ours to make. We will forever love and miss our mother, but we know that what we did would have been her wishes. Even if that made me pray that God take me instead of her, so that my siblings would not be without her. But we got the chance to say goodbye in our own ways, we prayed for her to be received by God, and were in a way relieved that she would no longer be in pain and would be reunited with her parents.


While the sadness of losing a loved one, especially as suddenly as it was, is immense, my siblings and I still have each other to lean on as well as many, many family and friends. We will never forget all of the lessons that she taught us. She cared so much for us, she was always there for our ball games, track meets, field hockey, parent-teacher conferences, and at any time that we had problems, she was there to talk us through them and give us her advice. Mom also made sure that we would know when she was disappointed in any of us (which didn't happen all that often), but we also knew that she loved us very much and would support us in whatever we decided to do. We may not have had a lot of money or flashy cars, but we always had the love from her. She did anything that she could to make sure that we had a roof over our heads, food on the table, and clothes on our backs. 


I am so glad that we got the opportunity to spend Mother's Day with our mom out at a ball field. A familiar and loved area for us all. Brother & I both played baseball most of our childhood days while sister played softball. Mom loved watching us play and was one of my favorite bullpen catchers as a kid. Mom grew up watching the NY Mets and still would watch if they were on TV for her to watch while being down in Phillies country. Mom was definitely a NY sports "homer". I remember having mom come out to watch me play softball with my wife on our coed team the year we won the championship. I also had her come out to a baseball game, but that was a few years back. I know she was always happy to see me having a good time and doing well (sometimes they didn't always go hand in hand). I will have to figure out a way to pay tribute to her when I return to the diamond with my team. I know she will always be watching out for us.


There are still many things to get accomplished in the mean time, but my sister, brother and I are staying with each other and doing what we have to do keep each other strong and to move forward. I know that we will do well because we have been taught by the best. She will forever be our guardian angel and we can only hope to continue to make her proud. She was courageous till the end and if either of us three can have half the strength and determination that she had, then I think she should be very proud of how well she brought us up. 


We love you so much mom and while we are sad now, we will get through this. We will miss you more and more as time passes on but we will never forget the lessons you taught us, the love you showed us, and the courage you always had no matter what the situation we were in. Till the day we meet again...MUAH!